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Since We're On The Subject Of Nuts:


Rob

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A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts, something she seemed to just love. Although he was really enjoying the attention, he turned and asked her: "Why do you love doing that?" "Because," she replied, "I really miss mine."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Rob

Dog.jpg.487f03da076af0150d2376dbd16843ed.jpgPlodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke.

 

 

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Talk about an awkward moment.....Only a true man would ask was it longer than mine?.......Actually a true man would boot her ass out and tell no one

This message was brought to you by Hargraves Potted Meat Product. Chopped full of "Peckers & Lips" since 1933 - John Boy & Billy

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Guy passes a gas station in a red neck town and notices a big sign that reads "Free sex with every fill up!" Interested in free sex the guy pulls in and fills up. He then proceeds to the cashier and is behind another fella who tries to claim his prize. The fella asks for the free sex and the cashier replies "pick a number from 1 to 10". The fella says "SEVEN" cashier replies:"Sorry bud, you were close but the number was SIX." Now the guy goes up and asks if he too could claim the free sex. Again the cashier asks for a number and the guy says "FIVE!" "Oh you were close but the number is FOUR" says the cashier. The guy walks away annoyed and sees the fella who was ahead of him getting in his car. The guy makes a comment to him: "That free sex game is BS, its rigged!" Fella replies "No that aint true, my wife won twice last week!"

Belated Easter joke:

The egg said said to the boiling water "It might take a while for me to get hard, I just got laid by some chick." Badoon ttsss!

Thank you, thank you, ill be here all week, try the veal.

-Thad

What America needs is less bull and more Bulldog!

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Since I am hijacking this thread I thought I would throw in some Physics/Government humor:

A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table.

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

-Thad

What America needs is less bull and more Bulldog!

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And I thought this was a site to discuss Mack trucks! :pat::(

It is Ken. This is the "odds and ends" section of the board. I am the "odd" one. The end, well I don't know anything about that.

Rob

Dog.jpg.487f03da076af0150d2376dbd16843ed.jpgPlodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke.

 

 

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Since I am hijacking this thread I thought I would throw in some Physics/Government humor:

A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table.

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

That is pretty good Thad. Seeing that I'm a federal employee, I've got a couple of asswipes that I have to call bosses that I'm sure to give that to.

Rob

Dog.jpg.487f03da076af0150d2376dbd16843ed.jpgPlodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke.

 

 

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Not wasting any time...

Once upon a time a brave knight was about to ride off on a quest to seek some rare parts. Before he left he went to his best and most trusted friend and told him "I am going on a dangerous mission-here is the key to my lovely lady's chastity belt. If I should never return...or if I have not returned in a year or so...well, do what you must my dear friend-I must be off". And with that he rode away. After riding a couple of hours he heard a horse racing up behind him. He stopped and heard the rider shouting "stop-wait-stop-STOP!" It was his best friend, with whom he had entrusted the key to his beloved's treasures.

He rode up to the knight, him and his horse both out of breath. "What is it?" asked the knight. "What kind of emergency do we have?". "It's the wrong key", panted his friend. "You left me the wrong key."

Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999.

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Otherdog, don't you drive a peteoftrash???? That was a good joke but I bet Rob is gonna shoot your pinky toe off. We all know that you have the hots for his daughter. :wub: Driving such a fancy truck gave it away..lol :idunno: Then again maybe not..are you and Rob some kind of kin??

THE GREATEST NAME IN TRUCKS

MACK TRUCKS

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Otherdog, don't you drive a peteoftrash???? That was a good joke but I bet Rob is gonna shoot your pinky toe off. We all know that you have the hots for his daughter. :wub: Driving such a fancy truck gave it away..lol :idunno: Then again maybe not..are you and Rob some kind of kin??

naw, that's Mike that you're thinking of-he wants to ride in there on his bike and take her to the prom. He was even pondering trading his bike to "Momma" for the daughter, but I think Rob's belt fed weapon on the front porch and land mines in the front yard may have changed his mind. :lol:

Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999.

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Tom is right, I'm afraid when anyone starts talkin bout dem weapons. I believe Rob keeps a leash on her and goes on all the dates with her. Poor little girl, I was just trying to give her a break so she could go to town and shop by herself.......LOL

mike

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