Double L Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 A mandied and went to heaven. Ashe stood in front ofSt. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a hugewall of clocks behind him.He asked,'What are all thoseclocks?'St. Peteranswered, 'Those areLie-Clocks.Everyone onEarth has a Lie-Clock.Every timeyou lie the hands on yourclock will move.''Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock isthat?''That'sMother Teresa's.. Thehands have never moved,indicatingthat she never told a lie.''Incredible,'said the man. 'Andwhose clo ck is that one?'St. Peterresponded, 'That'sAbraham Lincoln's clock. Thehands have moved twice,telling us that Abe toldonly two lies in his entirelife.''Where'sPresident OBamasclock?' asked the man.Obama’s clockis in Jesus' office.He's using itas a fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 (edited) Double L said: A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'What are all those clocks?' St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.' 'Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's.. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clo ck is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.' 'Where's President OBamas clock?' asked the man. Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a fan. The first sign of being gay.... Edited March 4, 2019 by Rob Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 The first sign of being gay....Ever wonder how Tarzan developed his famous yell? Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ever wonder how Tarzan developed his famous yell?Here ya go. Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Ever wonder how Tarzan developed his famous yell?LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..........HOHOHOHOHOHOHO..................WOW.........Rob.......surley that is not another one of your disguises.......the one in the gorilla suit..............HEHEHEHEHEHEHE..............that one is the funniest on the BMT site yet.Thanks for the Laughs ROB!mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freightrain Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 LOLOLOLOLOL...Wow.....whew.......pretty good ones Rob!The first one makes me thirsty............................. Quote Larry 1959 B61 Liv'n Large...................... Charter member of the "MACK PACK" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 LOLOLOLOLOL...Wow.....whew.......pretty good ones Rob!The first one makes me thirsty.............................Which one has achieved greater success?Sucess.bmp Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaddeusW Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Good joke. You could substitute just about any politicians name in there; McCain, Bush, Clinton etc and they would all work just as well. Quote -Thad What America needs is less bull and more Bulldog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double L Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 I'm very anti-Obama even though I don't claim any particular party I voted McCain! If you think you got it bad for not voting for Obama think again, I got called racist and several people told me they wouldn't talk to me anymore if I voted for McCain, I told them to kiss my ass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaddeusW Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 I'm very anti-Obama even though I don't claim any particular party I voted McCain! If you think you got it bad for not voting for Obama think again, I got called racist and several people told me they wouldn't talk to me anymore if I voted for McCain, I told them to kiss my ass! Every politician is a liar and a crook. I don't care which one it is or which party they represent. Obama so far is doing what every other crooked Washington criminal (politician) has done, sell out to the big boys. He put a bunch of RIAA/MPAA lawyers in the Department Of Justice. What the F#@& is he thinking. These scum bag lawyers (i am being polight) worked for the MPAA/RIAA suing little kids, college students and grandmothers for downloading some music and charging them thousands of times the price of the songs. And that is only part of problem I have with those shit bags in the DOJ. They should be gassed not given jobs.McCain would have been just as big a liar and crook. It just depends on who you believe is the lesser of the evils. McCain wasnt that great but some of his policies were good, but his tax plan sucked. Obama had a better tax plan. Oh and dont take sides with these crooks. F%#k the Republicans and the Democrats. Be your own man and vote for the best person. Dont vote because because of the party or their religion, vote for the better plan that benefits the people as a whole, not just yourself. Quote -Thad What America needs is less bull and more Bulldog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swishy Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 Clinton only ruined a dressBush ruined a country LOLcya§wishy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 Old Bill sent me this one...One Thing About Canadians One thing about Canadians is that their hearts and humor are always in the right place!Jeff Janzen, a manager of a Electrical supply house in Penticton, B.C.was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of theallegations of torture of the Afghan prisoners, suspected terrorist bombers.His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but with thunderous applause from the audience.HIS STATEMENT:'If hooking up an Afghan prisoner's nuts to a car's battery cables willsave just one Canadian's life or one American's life, then I have just three things to say; 'Red is positive, Black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet.' Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I like boobage... Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 from 700WLW's site... Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Double L Posted June 11, 2009 Author Share Posted June 11, 2009 Old Bill sent me this one...One Thing About Canadians One thing about Canadians is that their hearts and humor are always in the right place!Jeff Janzen, a manager of a Electrical supply house in Penticton, B.C.was asked on a local live radio talk show, just what he thought of theallegations of torture of the Afghan prisoners, suspected terrorist bombers.His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but with thunderous applause from the audience.HIS STATEMENT:'If hooking up an Afghan prisoner's nuts to a car's battery cables willsave just one Canadian's life or one American's life, then I have just three things to say; 'Red is positive, Black is negative, and make sure his nuts are wet.'I read one just like that but it was an Australian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajt3138 Posted June 11, 2009 Share Posted June 11, 2009 I read one just like that but it was an Australian.yeah its too bad that it is the world over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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