Popular Post mike69mackman Posted January 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted January 17, 2014 I swiped this from another forum........Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft..The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.Never let it be said that Aussie ground crews lack a sense of humor.Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutionsrecorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.P: Something loose in cockpit.S: Something tightened in cockpit.P: Dead bugs on windshield.S: Live bugs on back-order.P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.S: Evidence removed.P: DME volume unbelievably loud.S: DME volume set to more believable level.P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.S: That's what friction locks are for.P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.P: Suspected crack in windshield.S: Suspect you're right.P: Number 3 engine missing.S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.P: Target radar hums.S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.P: Mouse in cockpit.S: Cat installed.And the best one for last..................P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.S: Took hammer away from midget. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KECorbin22 Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Great sense of humor from down under. We get it on weekly basis, yesterday a driver comes in says "I think I got a flat, There is no air in in" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmackattack Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 That was great... Would love to see the look on the face after the "fix" was noted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
storkmack Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Great sense of humor from down under. We get it on weekly basis, yesterday a driver comes in says "I think I got a flat, There is no air in in" I get this one a lot, " I have a low tire that is off the bead". That's not a low tire, it's a flat, maybe wrecked tire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladislav Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Too funny, thanks alot!Will let my sun to read it, nice way to increase English knowledge.Oh, yea, that's Australian... Quote Никогда не бывает слишком много грузовиков! leversole 11.2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j hancock Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 Too funny, thanks alot!Will let my sun to read it, nice way to increase English knowledge.Oh, yea, that's Australian...American isn't English either! Quote JimIt doesn't cost anything to pay attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vladislav Posted January 17, 2014 Share Posted January 17, 2014 American isn't English either!You're right.Sometimes I think after being all that time on BMT I'd have bad chances to be understood in Great Britain.. Quote Никогда не бывает слишком много грузовиков! leversole 11.2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike69mackman Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Some of the complaints look like some of the work requests at our shop. Every time I read that it just cracks me up. The subtle sarcasm in the responses just kills me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatcity Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 That also shows a great deal of mutual respect between pilot and mechanic.That may be why Quantas has no crashesThink about it Quote Success is only a stones throw away.................................................................for a Palestinian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timothy Maikshilo Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Perfect Ed and so true! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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