Rob Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Divorce Agreement between Liberal and Conservative America I got this through one of the many 2nd amendment groups I belong to. Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.Here is a model separation agreement:Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.Sincerely,John J. WallLaw Student and an American P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.P.P.S Of course you could not forget Pelosi as leader of the gang! Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bollweevil Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Divorce Agreement between Liberal and Conservative America I got this through one of the many 2nd amendment groups I belong to. Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.Here is a model separation agreement:Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.Sincerely,John J. WallLaw Student and an American P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.P.P.S Of course you could not forget Pelosi as leader of the gang! Hear Hear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatcity Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Hear HearX2Can we keep Julianne Moore and Danica Patrick?Please Quote Success is only a stones throw away.................................................................for a Palestinian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 X2Can we keep Julianne Moore and Danica Patrick?Pleasehell yeah, and let them please take that obnoxious pig Rosie Odonnel! Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 hell yeah, and let them please take that obnoxious pig Rosie Odonnel!You forgot "BULL DYKE" when referring to Rosie!Rob Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatcity Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 hell yeah, and let them please take that obnoxious pig Rosie Odonnel!Heard she LOOOOVES clam chowder Quote Success is only a stones throw away.................................................................for a Palestinian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoClueJoe66 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Heard she LOOOOVES clam chowderRosie O'donnel wears underwear with the dick holes cut out in them. I second the motion on Danica and Julianne.... Quote This message was brought to you by Hargraves Potted Meat Product. Chopped full of "Peckers & Lips" since 1933 - John Boy & Billy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Heard she LOOOOVES clam chowderI like a little as much as the next man, what of it?Rosie Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Heard she LOOOOVES clam chowderAnd Pink Tacos.Rob Quote Plodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Rosie O'donnel wears underwear with the dick holes cut out in them. I second the motion on Danica and Julianne....Hi Joe. I never heard of Julianne, but I googled her-wow, what a redhead! Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoClueJoe66 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Hi Joe. I never heard of Julianne, but I googled her-wow, what a redhead! Hey buddy......Check her out on Boogie Nights, she's a looker..lol Quote This message was brought to you by Hargraves Potted Meat Product. Chopped full of "Peckers & Lips" since 1933 - John Boy & Billy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other dog Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 After much research I even found a picture of them together on the beach! Quote Producer of poorly photo-chopped pictures since 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambi80 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 'They' can keep both Rosie and NASCAR...they're both gay, a non-athletic sport and over paid for what they do. Quote Ever wonder how a blind person knows when to stop wiping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaddeusW Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.Woah! Hold on there. greedy corporations, greedy CEO's and Wall Street: These pricks trashed our economy and moved our jobs to China and India. Keep them? How about drown them.Wal-Mart : These guys were talking about having their Chinese made goods shipped into Mexican ports and want low paid Mexican drivers to haul the containers into the US and directly to Wal-Marts. Think those poorly kept port trucks are bad? Wait until the Mexicans roll in with their rickshaws. And the American drivers who would be further forced into the red. Yea sure, support them all you want.homeboys? Who the blacks? What the hell is a homeboy? The white kids trying to dress and act like thugs out of the ghetto?Hippies - They arent bothering anyone. Annoying? Yes.We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. - Wow. Just wow. At first I laughed, now its just sad.John J. Wall, Law Student and an American - Angry college student who should shut the f#@k up. He can take his phony patriotism and cram it up his ass. Quote -Thad What America needs is less bull and more Bulldog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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