randyp

Now that's just about on par of what happed to me on the 4th. You'll remember the chilli injected "superdogs" Momma, and Momma's Momma was makin for me over last weekend? I suppose I ate too many cause on my bike ride home after the fireworks show, and sneezing at 70mph, I damn near exploded past the elastic leg bands used to contain body discharges of my rubber underpants while dodging rain storms. No real problem though. Stopping the bike, dropped my pants, and simply sliding down the grassy embankment alongside the hiway did a fine job of cleaning up. Utilizing the benign benifits of hypo alergenic properties of my undergarments, I was once again on my merry way for the next 75 miles to the conclusion of the trip.

Rob

Well, I never feed my dog "hot dogs", but sometimes I look outside and hes scooting around on the grass dragging his asshole, never figured out why he does that. I began to suspect it may be some form of "dog masturbation", because he acts like it feels good while hes doing it. Rob, heh heh,,you didnt get a "nut" sliding down that embankment, did you? Therapist Randy

So randy still waiting on PICS. Better yet make a video.(if you know how).

ten-four on pics mackmann, I can do video if can figure out how to get it on here, probably gonna have to hire other dog to train me or be my video assistant, he aint nuttin but a "whiz" with this shit,,,,randy

Yo Hatcity, u know it be me busting "nines" in they asses, cause i be da dude holding mah nine sideways brother,,thas the only way to shoot akratet,,,uh,,akerate,,,uh,,,hell man , hit they asses with a sideways nine,,roll on the brother,,,,randy

Randy please make a video of that B running. I would love to hear that straight piped beast.

Will do mackmann, that was "sweet" other dog, I could even hear that lil sweet spot, expertly done "click" when you shifted and all fell into place. Good Job! Randy

I am starting to see more and more of these "things" on the road everyday, just wondered if someone could explain to me what goes on here? do these people not realize how ridiculous these cars look with these giant wheels? or how unsafe this is? not to mention what this does to the frontend telemetry/ driveline alighnment! i have always liked classic cars and trucks, but this is taking it too far for me! just hafta' laugh everytime i see one of these dipshits crusing along at 70 mph on 26" wheels, low profile rubberband tires, sitting up so high they are eye level with my CX!.............Mark

Yeah, theres 3 or 4 of those running round here, I mean bouncing round here, that has to be the dumbest looking shit I have ever seen. They generally like to have the music going wide open too, and I do mean it is loud too. I was getting gas one day and one of those idiots bounced in to get gas, killed his engine, left stereo on wide open. Hell, it was rattling windows on store, manager came out and told him to turn it off, he said "eff you", he would get his gas somewhere else. That was every other word on the song he was playing too, The manager went in to call cops and he took off, but I saw they had him stopped bout an hourr later. They have a stereo ordinance here in city, dont seem to help much. They have a jake brake ordinance too, just hope they never get a "61 bellering Klller B " ordinance, may have to call rhasler to bail me,,,,randy

Rats!..that was gonna be my plan, use it to fix the roads...maybe be named to a high ranking position by c.e.o. Randy, with lots of young, nubile, busty assistants...but once again i'm too late. Guess all I can do now is invest my total net worth of $7.43 into the company, because I do believe in it strongly.

heh heh heh good gawd aw mighty dam other dog, you aint nuttin but creative with a dam computer! What the hell are you doing driving a truck anyway, oughta have your own online ad company. Well, hell, our luck, they gonna plug leak in gulf anyway and there goes the business, right down the toilet. (if its robs toilet, may take a while to fill it up). I do trust also that was a MACK tank I saw in pic earlier. Ex-CEO turned gravel pit whore randy

Happy Birthday Thad.

Hope you have the happiest of birthdays Mr. T ,,,randy

I was successful in getting my LT running! An oil change, some fresh filters and fuel, new batteries, and she fired right up. Not bad after sitting for about a decade.

Should be able to get some pictures up soon. The show season is definitely beckoning.

congratulations, now get that dern camera out and I wanna see some dern pictures,,,randy

good thing you got that wheel tied down-wouldn't want it blowing away into the corn field.

Nice work on the tractor!

Good job on the tractor rowdy, I like old things like that, actually even like them better when much older, I even like the kind you wrap the starter rope around and give it a good yank. I remember as a kid, pushing old mower down street, gas jug (glass gallon jug, believe it or not) and starter rope hanging from my belt. Its goood you still got it in family and got it running, good luck and have fun with it,,,Randy (ease over there in that cornfield and mail me some that corn)

Transcraft used to build trailers right up the road from me...I actually parked the Mack in their driveway to hit the DMV across the street on the way home yesterday (had a few plates to renew....and go figure, I found another renewal in my PO Box just minutes AFTER leaving the DMV. Good thing its a small town with no waiting.

Anyway, the plant shut down about a year or so ago (I forget exactly when)...and I'm sure there were rumblings about the potential closing internally before that. While I don't quite understand the mentality, I know it exists...some people just don't GAFF about the quality of their work when they think they are going to get canned.

I usually tell 'em to get a real truck & learn to drive it and they wouldn't have any problems either.

If you think about it, though, you had the advantage. All your drive axle weight was focused on 4 tires, providing you with increased traction on every tire. Fully loaded, you can run up to 20K on those 4 tires...5,000 pounds/tire. He can only run up to 34K on 8 tires...4,250 pounds/tire. More weight per tire = more traction per tire and less likely to spin. I doubt either one of you were fully loaded, though...and if he's hauling similar equipment on a similar trailer, you were probably running similar weights on the drives. In other words, he has 1/2 the weight on every drive tire for a significant loss in traction available under each and every tire...and if he had air ride, he's at an even greater disadvantage.

Couple that with the fact that he probably didn't have full lockers on his old KW. If he had a power divider, he had just as many tires digging in the dirt as you did...'cept he had 1/2 the load on each of 'em.

The knucklehead behind the wheel further compounds his problems...

Even with competent drivers in both trucks, my money would have been on the Mack...

Yes, on all of your statements Rowdy,,,Mack Rules, he was a young chowderheaded, moronic, inexperienced, asshole, idiot,,,I am an just an old experienced idiot,,Geriatric Randy

Note to headquarters- as far as "fixing you up" with my personal staff, that is completely out of the question! they are all "tied up" and un-available for transfer at this time. I DO have two promising young ladies from the secretarial pool, that are excited to join our organization! they are headed for texas as we speak! i'm sure they will serve you and V.P. rhasler well! i have enclosed photos of the girls, so you can put a name to the face when they arrive. photo # 1 shows the girls.......Little debbie (like the snack cake) and the lovely Hagitha louise ! they will arrive in the company car (provided at my expense mind you) photo # 2............. Sexual harassment avoidance specialist Mark

I am speechless that you would do something so nice for us, so speechless, im kinda dizzy over it. Maybe all the blood has gone to my head (the one on my shoulders) heh heh. randy

Sounds like you got the package you have been waiting for.

How many warning stickers are on the greaser gun? WARNING Do NOT look at hose end when squeezing trigger

rRegarding the multi-national language- with great thanks to those that control all aspects of government in regards to "border security", All those haitians that we allowed to come here after the earthquake-Creole. Since we have numerous Latin American countries represented, we must have all dialects available so they can ignore the warnings, get hurt or better killed, so they or representatives of theirs (lawyers) can sue the mfg.

Regarding the assembly of product, WE PAY THE FACTORY TOP DOLLAR/DAY. we have had to trust that the product meets the guidelines set. We do not know who set them, but , we saw a sign at the factory. Can't read Chinese, but the boss told us thats what it said come to think of it, saw a kid with the exact thing on his arm one day. said it was his name.

Will this make you feel better?

yeah hatcity, I got several things today, the worst to assemble came from Lowes, a simple looking lawn swing with canopy. I got my handy dandy pneumatic grease gun, and to be brutally honest with you, when I ordered it, I had no plans to stick hose in my eye, ear, or ass. I really needed to be told that! Randy

Dear concerned consumer,

We regret that you were dissatisfied with your recent purchase of our instruction manual (the product whose operation it describes was free of charge, being as it was produced with materials far less costly than the paper the instructions were printed on). Here at the Company we make every effort to enhance your reading experience by taking certain "poetic licenses" with our instruction brochure and your language. Please see the attached document as an example of our continued efforts to both entertain and edumacate you.

yours, rhasler, freelance literarally inclined proofreader

heh heh heh der snoogle biggle bauyet oodf jf asoooid fjfj a; 9974 f88f asutyre hitler ankep comma, priotdf alls jfj ertfgdu wienershit zel comprende? hans and gretel,,,ydnar

Dear Manufacturers and purveyors to consumers, Please take note that when I order a product from you, I do not need a 2 inch thick instruction manual, or a manual that you can turn over and upside down to view different languages and dialects. I pay for your products in American money and I only require american (English language) instructions. I would also like to introduce you to a concept known as "Proofreading". Webster defines it as "To read and correct,(printers proofs). This is most preferably done after initial print, its proofread, mistakes corrected, then you can take off with your gazillion copies, and guess what, they will all be identical and grammatically correct! This proofreading concept is best done by someone schooled well in the english language, preferably an english major. The best quality proofreading does not come from someone in Botswana working at the rate of 12 cents a day, and does not even speak the english language. I really mention the possibility of all this so maybe a lighter instruction or assembly manual might possibly lower shipping costs. I have one more item to mention, while you are on the company jet on your way to your swiss "chalet", I retract that, this should be part of proofreading also, but anyway, please make sure when instructions say "insert bolt A into slot C, see Fig. 6, there definitely needs to be a Fig.6 and also aforementioned slots. Maybe while you are on company jet to Switzerland (possibly to deposit cash), why dont you just take a sample of your product, with included instructions, and try to assemble that Son of a Bitch yourself? If you look in the index of manual for 10 or 15 minutes, you might find your language. Thank you for your time, I feel much better now. Dumb Gravel Pit Hillbilly Randy

Super secret spy photo of my uncle and brother? damn,guess i AM in it for the money!.........Mark

We have the "sleeper" tapes, so dont try to weasel your way out of this. We also have written evidence of you on a quote saying you were only one getting fingerprints on furniture,,,uh huh,,watcha got to say now Mr. Man? However, if you are willing to set me up with some of your "personal assistants" we may be able to sweep this under the rug.. Prosecutor Randy (backed by henchman rhasler)

GREAT TEXAS BILLBOARD

Gotta love Marshall , TX . Three cheers for East Texas .

And Yes! It's really there! It faces North. I was curious to

See who paid for it. From the angle I took this picture, it tells

just that...kinda, anyway. It says, "Paid for by E.M. - Citizen"

It would have to be someone with money, and I've no

idea who that might be, but it doesn't matter. It's up there!

Hwy 59 at Hwy 43 - across from Marshall High School .......

yeah locomotive, I live bout 30 miles from Marshall and we aint even bashful round here,,,randy

Green Giant and Hatcity, most of the stupid shit ive done has made history round here, heh heh,,so I guess I really cant blame her. I have a waterline story I could launch into, but we wont go there, makes me have flashbacks and nightmares,,LOL,,,Recovering stupid stunt expert Randy

Raining again here today, no gravel pit,posed to rain tommorrow and next day too. Hope my Northern Tools toys come today or am gonna get bored. randy

I have put my notable brainpower on this idea,and come up with the following use for the "tarballs" my proposal is this,properly mixed with other "organic" material re: dairy lagoon waste, the aforementioned "tarballs" can then be sold to the USDOT to be used as patches for interstate 40 nationwide,eliminating the high cost of re-paving,and finding suitable government contractors! i am willing to invest the contents of my super secret criso can (contents in excess of $40.00) towards getting this project off the ground. My only request is to have the board meet, and vote on an un-limited expense account for me (trucking and logistics will not be cheap!) plus i will need a "staff" i am currently interviewing busty young women for this opening,then there is the matter of rolling stock, i have already put in an order for 30 new tractors,25 flatbeds with side kits,25 walking floor trailers,6 new end dumps (just in case) 1 vaccuum trailer,plus numerous "incidentals" to be billed F.O.B to randyp enterprises inc. Texas,USA......Grand exaulted dictator of trucking/transportation and logistics Mark

MEMO--Personal assistant Rhasler--Lets keep a watchful eye on Mark, hes very valuable on Board of Directors, however, i feel he may have lost true path of our new innovative company. Limit his company credit card, require receipts, bug his home, the company washroom, truck sleeping berth, (we may have to censor some of the sleeping berth stuff, or blackmail him with it later). Unlike us, Im not sure if his true intentions are to cure world hunger, prevent disease, improve living conditions in third world countries, and find Osama Bin Laden. I think he may be in this for the money, Eat this memo when read, make sure its still not readable in case Rob finds it in toilet. Petroleum Visionary Randy

HEY RANDY

FROM ONE DIRT-OLIGIST TO ANOTHER. DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR WIFE, I AM ONLY 35 AND MY WIFE CALLS TO CHECK ON ME AND ASKED IF I AM DOING SOMETHING THAT IS DANGEROUS OR IF I CAN GET HURT. IF SHE ONLY KNEW THE STUFF THAT WE SINGLE OWNERS DO.

GG2

Green Giant and Hatcity, most of the stupid shit ive done has made history round here, heh heh,,so I guess I really cant blame her. I have a waterline story I could launch into, but we wont go there, makes me have flashbacks and nightmares,,LOL,,,Recovering stupid stunt expert Randy

Seems everyone (including me) has forgotten about the legal ramifications of starting a new enterprise of this magnitude, therefore, i have gone ahead and retained legal counsel.....................the law firm of "DEWEY, CHEATEM & HOWE".................Minister of ground transportation Mark

Mark, from the looks of the ones hair on the far right, must be Rob, kinda looks like its kinda been plunged before. nyuk,,nyuk,nyuk,,,,Nobel Prize Recipient Randy

Been thinkin bout gettin one them thare totes for emergenceeees. Mebe get 8 or 9 iff'n randy's idear works

How bout makin a burn plant, makin lectricity and sell to power companies?

Sell to power companies, foot, we will be the power companies! Future Oil Magnate Randy

I'm purposely easy on that truck. Cognizance of a breakdown not being a quick fix due to parts availability makes it easy to be. However, I do not refrain from use when she is needed.

Rob

Rob, that is very well spoken advice, and I go by it daily, always being concious of the limitations of your equipment and what limits it can go to will save you a lot of time and money in breakdowns. Im not saying it never happens, but I am always listening for unusual drivetrain noises, vibrations, etc. and am fully aware of limitations of older equipment. I have no doubt you are a "true" vintage equipment and truck driver. That is also why I have no employees, its just me, so I feel like equipment will last longer. (I am really bragging on you, not just blowing smoke up you ass to get momma to sell me that truck) Polygraph expert Randy STARE INTO MY EYES MOMMA ROB, YOU ARE UNDER MY SPELL

Well, no manbag was present in the picture,i can only assume that it clashed with your outfit! i did note the bandanna necktie, however! very HE-MAN! but white socks with work attire? thats a no-no! and just for future reference, if you're gonna wear "shorty-shorts" to work in public, please have the courtesy to tuck your shirt in!.........Trucking fashion consultant esquire Mark

Thank you for that fashion advice Mark, however it must be noted that my socks generally start out white in the morning and are usually dirty brown by lunch, wet, and sagging over my boots, no doubt, rather odorous also. I used to tuck my shirt in, but if I was hauling dirt, moving equipment, or going to local pac-a sac, gas station, etc. for a microwave quickie salmonella samwich, I just got so tired of whatever women were around whistling at my muscular buttocks, it is just so demeaning and embarrassing, one look at those buns of mine just gets them acting like a bunch of rude and boisterous construction workers, not to mention some of them probably wound up late getting back to work cause they had to run home to get dry panties. I keep shitail out just to protect them I guess, it feels like a curse sometimes, wish I could afford a muscle reduction back there,,just have to cope with it i guess. NAVY SEAL Ret. Randy (I know 387 ways to kill you and they all hurt)

You might ought to check with the patent office first. I think someone may have come up with the idea before, and called it snake oil. It is not really clear to me, if it attracted snakes, or if they just added a snake to each barrel before shipment. You might also check with the copyright office before calling yourself Snake oil salesman Randy, as I believe the term has also been used before. Except for legal ramifications it is actually a wonderful idea. Have you considered pre loading the trailer with empty barrels before an oil storm. Empty barrels are a lot easier to handle.

Memo---Personal assistant rhasler,,Put bollweevil on staff pronto, this team needs thinkers like him, secondly, if you can find a toilet big enough to plunge Robs head in, then hire him,,END OF MEMO, carry on,,,Chief Randy

Better pay for a donation:

Rob

heh heh ,,gosh all mighty,,heh,,all i can say,,other dog will be impressed,,Donator Randy