Don't Mess With Texas!

[other dog]

Slightly modified joke Bollweevil sent me-

> Subject: Texans Declares War on The United States

Barack Obama is in the Oval Office when the telephone rings.

"President Obama," Barack said, as A heavy southern voice said

"Barack this is Randy P, down at the Joes Crab Shack in Daingerfield, and

I'm callin' ta tell ya'll that officially we just declared war on you!"

"Well Randy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!

How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Randy, after a moments calculation "there's

myself, my cousin Harold , my next-door-neighbor Archie, and the

whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused, then said. "Randy, I must warn you that I have one

million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Randy. "Guess I'll have ta call ya back!"

Next day, Randy called again. "Barack, we're still gonna' fight

you! Since yesterday I have have managed to acquire some infantry

equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Randy?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, a B-model Mack, and Harry's old farm

tractor."

Obama sighed. "I must tell you Randy, that I have 16,000 tanks and

14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to

one and a half million since we last spoke."

Randy said, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Next day Randy called and said, "Obama , the war is still on! We

have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds'

ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys

from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell

you Randy that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My

military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air

missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to

TWO MILLION!"

Randy said, "l'll call you back tomorrow."

Sure enough, Randy called the next day and said, "Obama! I'm gonna'

have to call off the war."

Obama said, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Randy said, "We sit ourselves down las' night and had a long chat

over a bunch of beer, and we done come to realize there is jes' no

way we can feed two million prisoners.."

[randyp]

Slightly modified joke Bollweevil sent me-

> Subject: Texans Declares War on The United States

Barack Obama is in the Oval Office when the telephone rings.

"President Obama," Barack said, as A heavy southern voice said

"Barack this is Randy P, down at the Joes Crab Shack in Daingerfield, and

I'm callin' ta tell ya'll that officially we just declared war on you!"

"Well Randy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!

How big is your army ?"

"Right now," said Randy, after a moments calculation "there's

myself, my cousin Harold , my next-door-neighbor Archie, and the

whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

Barack paused, then said. "Randy, I must warn you that I have one

million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Randy. "Guess I'll have ta call ya back!"

Next day, Randy called again. "Barack, we're still gonna' fight

you! Since yesterday I have have managed to acquire some infantry

equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Randy?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, a B-model Mack, and Harry's old farm

tractor."

Obama sighed. "I must tell you Randy, that I have 16,000 tanks and

14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to

one and a half million since we last spoke."

Randy said, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Next day Randy called and said, "Obama , the war is still on! We

have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds'

ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys

from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell

you Randy that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My

military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air

missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to

TWO MILLION!"

Randy said, "l'll call you back tomorrow."

Sure enough, Randy called the next day and said, "Obama! I'm gonna'

have to call off the war."

Obama said, "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Randy said, "We sit ourselves down las' night and had a long chat

over a bunch of beer, and we done come to realize there is jes' no

way we can feed two million prisoners.."

Not enough biscits and mustard in texas to feed that many, and I aint sharing mine,,,Lt Col. randy