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Why I Don't Visit My In-Laws

Double L

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Here are some reasons I don't visit my in-laws as much as my wife would like.

1. Typical hello greeting: Mother in-law..... Why the hell did you come over here? Are you here to conspire with them? Me... Mom I haven't been here for two weeks, what the hell are you talking about. Mother in-law...... aw shut the hell up and get me my coffee.

2. Typical political conversation with Moter in-law: Mother in-law.... Have you been watching them fing libs, those mother fing libs aren't bent on ruining fing America. Those mother fing libs want to control the entire fing world. Me....... I agree Mom. Mother in-law....... aw shut up and get me a soda.

3. Me to my wife.... We gotta go. Wife to me...... I can't we are in the middle of this game. Me to wife...... aw shut up and get me a beer, and get in the car.

Ho ho fing ho. Merry Christmas all.


Me to brother in-law..... Nice Christmas tree, you going to trim it? Brother in-law...... It looks fine the way it is. Quit blocking my 70" TV.

Wife to brother while cooking his Christmas dinner for him........ Hey I need some butter, and tin foil. Brother in-law........ No you don't. Wife to Me on cell phone, I'm at home..... Could you go get me some butter and tin foil and bring it to me? Me to wife on cell phone....... Are you fing nuts, let me guess your fat brother won't get out of his chair. Her to Me..... nope. Me to her...... OK. Me to Me....... You fool.


Me to another brother in-law..... Hey you woke up from that drug induced coma, glad to see you are not rotting in the garage. Other brother in-law to ME..... Aw shut the hell up whats to eat. Me to him..... your dog that's been munching off of us. Him to me.... Smokey is a good dog. Me to him....... We wish you were too.


This is my own flesh and blood.

My daughter to Me.... Hey what size shoes does mom wear? Me to her.... size 7. Her to Me..... a size 5? ME to her.... No a size 7. Her to Me..... I'll get her a size 5. Me to her....... I'm holding in my hand a size 7. Her to Me........ Size 5 right? Me to her....... Yea and we'll need the receipt.


Again with the flesh and blood.

My son to Me... Can I barrow $20.00 buck to get mom a gift? Me to him.... Sure what you going to get. Him..... A pack of smokes and her some slippers. Me to him..... well consider that pack of smokes your Christmas gift. Here's the $20.00. Him to Me...... What you talking about.

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I anxiously visit my in laws cause they cook good, and like doing it!! Me, I just eat good, and like doing it.


Dog.jpg.487f03da076af0150d2376dbd16843ed.jpgPlodding along with no job nor practical application for my existence, but still trying to fix what's broke.



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